A Collective Breath
The epidemic of digital loneliness.
Prefer to listen? Click play on the audio track above to hear SVB read you these words.
And don’t forget your Reflection Points at the end.
“This is not a generational issue, it’s a societal one.”
LAST MONTH, when I sat down to map out April’s Monthly Lineup, I had opted to close our focus on the Analog Resistance with a discussion about how tech is driving us apart.
And ultimately, deeper within our own inner worlds.
We’ve touched on this in previous weeks when examining the perpetual silos of algorithms and the distorted view of reality we’re receiving via succinct, square frames.
Yet as I sat down today to write about the notion of digital loneliness, I felt a pull to recalibrate.
All due to a story that I’m starting to see with repetition in my feed.
This past week alone, I’ve saved 3 news articles all with a recurring theme. The first was from USA Today and was entitled “Young People are Crowding Underground Phone-Free Parties.”
“I’d like to be on that guest list,” I thought. So I clicked.
Then, today alone, I was hit with this article and then this one featuring research regarding Gen Z’s growing discomfort with modern technology.
I devoured every last word of these pieces. Filled with curiosity and something I’m not sure I’ve felt in awhile.
Hope.
Because I do not think it’s a secret that the younger generations are often lamented for their attachment to their devices, with those of us who knew life before screens tsk tsking about how they’re getting it horribly wrong.
It’s become an all-too-common, essentially knee-jerk refrain to dub those coming up through the ranks as having limited attention spans, inferior social skills and vanity issues, all of which are attributed to a life lived online.
And while these judgments may not be entirely off base, the news this week indicates a nuance much more pertinent:
That young people are aware of what’s happening to them and are – in their own ways – asking for help.
Consider this: According to this NBC News Decision Desk Poll, nearly half – that’s 47% – of adults ages 18-29 said if they had the option, they’d choose to live in the past. Interviews revealed that this response is “shaped by their relationship with technology and a growing discomfort with being connected to the internet at all times.”
You might be quick to scoff at this. But we shouldn’t. Just like we shouldn’t ignore how in those underground, phone-free parties, young people report feeling relief from being able to enjoy themselves without the worry of being documented by photos and videos.
No frame, it seems, equates to freedom, and this is an experience that might taste that much sweeter to a generation of children who have grown up with a smartphone strapped to their parents’ hands.
Yes, unpopular opinion here, but if we’re really going to examine our toxic relationship with technology – and, moreover, address ways to limit its proven harm – we must first accept that one generation is not to blame.
And if anything, perhaps those of us who know better, should be ashamed for not – well – knowing better.
There is a lot of talk about enforcing boundaries for screen time with children and maintaining work/life balance policies in the office, but the question is, are we really leading by example?
Or are our heads too buried in our own screens to recognize that we are the ones “influencing” the behavior of those around us?
Truth is the addictive properties of the algorithm do not discriminate by age nor interest, so getting sucked into the vortex of world news or brain-training games (hello, Wordle) does not make you any better than someone “wasting” their time by watching TikTok videos.
No, this is not a generational issue, it’s a societal one, and I personally find it laughable that we’re expecting the youngest among us to find the courage to buck the trend and swim upstream.
Especially when those of us (finger pointing right back at me here) who bemoan the constant “on-ness” of the modern world struggle with how to navigate less in an environment that is incessantly shouting more.
So while, as is often the case, I do not know the answer, I do know that I’m allowing that hope I felt from reading those articles this morning to settle in my chest as opposed to reverting to cynicism.
It’s allowing me to imagine a world where we all say what we’re quietly thinking – what those young people are sharing in anonymous polls – and that is that we’re uncomfortable.
That perhaps in this time of full-speed-ahead advancement that we are overdue for hitting pause.
That the time has come to take a collective breath.
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Coming Up Next Week: The May Lineup
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Write them, think them, talk them. There is no right or wrong way to navigate these prompts. Except to go into them without judgment or expectation. Be curious. And honest. Have the courage to sit with yourself.
This week, observe the people coming up through the ranks in your life (children, younger colleagues, Gen Z friends). Instead of tsk-tsking their screen habits, look at your own hand. Are you modeling the “off-ness” you wish to see in them, or are you inadvertently teaching them that the world only exists through a lens?
In the week ahead, if you find yourself inclined to capture a moment in a photo, see if you can intentionally override that. As you do, pay attention to the physical sensation in your chest. Is it anxiety? Does it feel like a missed opportunity? Or is it the “sweet taste of freedom” that those underground parties are chasing?
Be honest about your “sophisticated” screen time. Whether it’s Wordle, the news cycle, or checking the stats of your portfolio — how often are you using these “productive” apps as a socially acceptable way to stay in the vortex? Practice putting the phone down the moment the “task” is done, rather than letting it bleed into the next 20 minutes.