Wide Lens
The realities that exist beyond the frame.
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And don’t forget your Reflection Points at the end.
“Isn’t there an inherent level of trust that we want to have when someone’s telling us a story?”
WHILE MINDLESSLY SCROLLING has become synonymous with modern living, I partake in a slightly different iteration of the habit that I dub mindless reading.
This occurs in the form of perusing articles in sometimes frivolous, sartorial publications that help break up the heavy nature of the news cycle.
It is, essentially, my limited exposure to the types of pop culture ubiquitous with 2026.
So that’s how I found myself reading a BuzzFeed article about influencers, which featured rare, albeit anonymous profiles where light was shed on the nuances of their real lives versus those that they portray.
And as a disclaimer, I will add here that I did not click on this article because I am fascinated by influencers, but rather that I remain perplexed by the fact that influencers are even a thing.
Perhaps not surprisingly, the bulk of the coverage centered around the fact that the majority of people making some sort of living off of social media are nowhere as happy/healthy/successful as their followers assume them to be. But there was one story in particular that stopped me in my tracks, prompting me to reread it multiple times to ensure the joke wasn’t on me.
It had to do with a female in her mid-twenties whose platform falls into the lifestyle category, which is essentially a way of saying that her content revolves around how beautiful her existence is, punctuated by curated photos of various homes she (supposedly) lives in, complete with décor and must-have items that make every day in her orbit feel like a dream.
Yet the reality of her situation – confessed by her so-called best friend – is that she lives in one, modest home and has a stockpiled arsenal of fixtures and furnishings that she constantly moves in and out of rooms in various arrangements so that her photos appear like she’s in different houses and locations.
Go ahead and read that again.
Because I already told you I had to do the same.
And when I did – when I reread about this young woman’s reality and let it sink in – I found myself feeling really sad.
Sad for her and the façade she has built in the name of transparency.
But moreover, sad for those on the other side of the screen, measuring their lives up against what is, in every sense, fraudulent.
A scam.
I mean, there’s no doubt that we, as rational adults, know to not take everything we see at face value. To assume that we never really know what’s going on in someone’s world, not to mention that there’s a level of artistic license applied by anyone who holds an iPhone in their hand.
But isn’t there an inherent level of trust that we want to have when someone’s telling us a story?
Especially when that story is that you too can look/feel/exist like me?
For so long social media felt like a pulling back of the curtain. A sneak peek and behind-the-scenes look into the lives of people seemingly excelling in their role as a human, who were oh-so-generous to share their wisdom/secrets/hacks.
But along the way, the curtain began to frame the stage for a production.
And that’s the lens through which we need to position the content that we are absorbing.
That it – for all intents and purposes – is an act.
Because be it the influencer wanting everyone to believe she has it made, or the mom who uses a filter to lighten up her sleepless, under-eye bags, most public personas are, at worst, false representations.
And, at best, are just one snippet of a much more complicated scene.
The real truth exists beyond the frame, where the light doesn’t shine just so and the laundry is collecting dust waiting to be folded.
Or where the bills are piling up on the counter while we’re flashed the newest, shiniest accessory.
It’s in the child trying oh-so-hard to be patient while their mom or dad arranges the playroom for the perfect shot – even if it’s to make it perfectly messy to pave the way for a discussion about how parenting is hard.
And it’s in the partner who sits alone, waiting in another room as they try to remain supportive of their loved one’s side hustle, but who would pay good money just to have some quality time with them. No phones allowed.
Yes, if we panned back we’d see the real story, the one that’s nuanced, complex and not succinct because it’s intimate. Because it contains emotions that can’t be captured in curated shots.
But in lieu of that – in the name of keeping parts of life as they should be, private – may we be reminded that there’s always more than what meets the eye.
And let’s allow that truth to provide us comfort.
That no one has it all figured out.
***
Coming Up Next Week: The Collective Breath
The epidemic of digital loneliness
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Write them, think them, talk them. There is no right or wrong way to navigate these prompts. Except to go into them without judgment or expectation. Be curious. And honest. Have the courage to sit with yourself.
If you use social media, look back at a photo you recently shared or a status update you gave. What was happening exactly two inches outside of that frame? What emotions prompted you to share? How does naming the context change your relationship with that memory?
The next time you feel a pang of comparison while scrolling, allow yourself to imagine the production behind the scene. How does viewing the content as a presentation rather than a pure reality shift your internal measuring stick?
Identify one messy, private reality in your life right now — maybe it’s a difficult conversation that needs to be had, a financial hurdle or thoughts of doubt as you navigate this chapter of your life. Can you resist the urge to reframe it so it feels more positive and simply sit with it as the real truth? What does it feel like to allow yourself to exist in a space where no one is watching?