Thanks (You)!

From obligatory to deliberate.

All,

As we settle into a month dedicated to the notion of gratitude, I wanted to share a quick story that I feel underscores the importance of shifting expressing the emotion from a passive to an active practice.

(Which, by the way, will be our main focus this coming Sunday).

But many moons ago, when I was making my way up the ranks in the publishing industry, I worked for a managing editor who – as his job required – was meticulous about word choice and phrasing. His standards, however, were not reserved for the pieces we published, but how we communicated at all levels – including how we spoke in meetings, and the bane of his existence: how we wrote our emails.

So it wasn’t terribly surprising that one day, as I sat in my cubicle, I heard him reprimanding my coworker for signing off on an email using the word “thanks.”

It was too casual, he noted, but moreover, it was missing the most important part:

The you. The word that represents the person you are acknowledging.

I didn’t see him, but I have no doubt my coworker rolled his eyes at this. It likely felt nitpicky. Nuanced. Unnecessary.

But I’ve personally never forgotten this lesson, to the point that anytime I catch myself typing “thanks!” even in a rapid-fire text, I pause, delete, and rephrase it.

Does it matter? Does the person on the receiving end even notice? I couldn’t say, but I do know that – for me – it takes a knee-jerk, sometimes obligatory response and turns it into something deliberate.

And it’s a lesson I think about often, as we seem to move through our world abbreviating all forms of our communication, cutting up our expression into shorter, quicker combinations of letters or even cartoonish demonstrations.

I mean, I cannot help but think what my managing editor would have to say about receiving a “TU” in response. Or a prayer hand emoji.

Something tells me it wouldn’t fly.

And for that – for him – I am grateful.

Here’s to you!